Blog Summary – Key Points Covered
How To Write a Compassionate Tribute Note
1. This blog will focus on writing a sympathy note, as opposed to a celebratory note, which is not an easy task.
2. While it sounds simple, just getting started and putting your thoughts in writing are key to moving forward.
3. This guide provides 10 concrete sympathy message writing tips such as keep your note simple and add a personal memory if possible.
4. The Gifted Tree makes it easy to plant a tree and offers many heartfelt suggestions on what to write for those struggling to find just the right words.
How To Write a Great Tribute Note That is a Winner.
I get questions all the time, via email or a phone call, about how to write a sympathy note or tribute message that will resonate with the recipient, whether it is a condolence message or a celebratory missive. As a matter of fact, two previous blogs on related subjects — how to write a sympathy letter and what to write in a sympathy card during difficult times — have been some of our most popular. There is a good reason why I get asked a lot about what to say in a note, it is because it is not an easy task. Having been in this business for 13 years, I have some additional insights that I would like to share with you. Please note, this blog will focus on writing sympathy notes but the same principles can be applied to celebratory notes as well.
First let’s look back at some of our past blog’s salient points:
The hardest part to writing a great note is just reaching out at all, especially to someone who has just lost a family member or someone who is close to him or her. This is especially true when people are unsure what to write in a sympathy card or worry about saying the wrong thing. While it is tempting to ignore the situation, sending a sympathy card or reaching out with a sympathy letter is probably the best thing you can do for that person. It can go a long way in helping a grieving individual or family get through a difficult time. Number one, therefore, is just get started and send a note.
The next point, put it in writing. It is much easier to write a note as opposed to thinking you will just say something in person the next time you see that individual. Writing a condolence message allows you to choose your words carefully and express sympathy in a way that feels authentic and thoughtful. You don’t have to worry about stumbling over your words and it can make it easier when you do see that person as they will know that you have already reached out and it will make that experience less awkward.
Sympathy Message Writing Tips and Examples
Here are some suggestions (as appeared in a New York Times article written by Katherine Rosman) for expressing sympathy clearly and supportively, whether you are writing a sympathy note, condolence message, or memorial message. As Ms. Rosman states in her article:
- Keep in mind that it is important to consider the tone of your message and it is okay to convey an air of solemnity, even as you express personal warmth. You want to keep in mind the seriousness of the situation.
- Be direct and do not meander. Start with the reason you are writing, which is one of the most important parts of a meaningful sympathy message. An example: I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother.
- Be gentle and instead of using the word “death” you might want to substitute the word “loss” or “passing.”
- Acknowledge unfamiliarity. Some of the most comforting condolence notes are sent not because we knew and loved the deceased, but because we care about the survivor(s). In this case, reflect on your affection for the person you are writing to as it relates to the death of their loved one.
- Offer a wish for the future and conclude with a caring sign-off that is appropriate to your relationship with the recipient and that feels suitable for a remembrance or condolence note.
I want to add my tips, from 13 years of experience, for writing a great note that will resonate with the recipient:
- Don’t stew over the exact words. In the long run, it really isn’t that important as the recipient will not spend great amounts of time analyzing each word that you write. They will just be so happy that you reached out.
- As soon as you think of something, write it down or save it on a computer. Don’t say to yourself that you will remember it later. You probably won’t and you will kick yourself as you struggle to come up with something close to what you thought of earlier. I can’t tell you how many customers I have talked to who have found themselves in this same situation. So frustrated they are and there is nothing I can do to help them.
- Add a personal memory you have of the person, if possible. If appropriate, explain how you knew the person, how well you knew the person and the role that the person played in your life. You might want to include a short memory of the deceased. For example, if you remember spending summers together with the person when you were younger, then add that to your note. These types of memories really add a special touch to your note. The reader will cherish that memory.
- Keep your note simple. Don’t stress about writing a long message. Short messages are just as powerful and, in most cases, better received. It is not quantity you are after here, but a short, sweet note is preferable. The recipient usually is juggling a lot of tasks, as well as a lot of emotions, and will have a short attention span.
- Finally, it does not matter when you send the note. So many customers are focused on getting it out to the family on the day of the funeral. While in theory that sounds nice, the fact of the matter is that the family is dealing with so much that day they probably won’t have time to even open your letter. They might not get to it for a few days. I know from personal experience that after my father died recently, it took me and my sisters about two weeks to open everything we received. Bottom line is anytime during the first year is acceptable.
Get Started with the Gifted Tree
Send an everlasting, beautiful tribute with The Gifted Tree. Show that you care by planting a majestic tree in a U.S. National Forest or a planting project location in one of 40 countries. Besides announcing the tree planting, the tribute certificate includes a space for you to include a personal message employing all the tips you have just read about. And if you struggle to find the right words to write, there is a large section of heartfelt suggestions that will help you create a winning remembrance. A memorial tree is a most meaningful tribute to a life well-lived. As one customer stated: “The tree planting and card message comforted me in a way I never expected they would.”
Compassionate Tribute Note FAQs
What should you write in a sympathy note if you don’t know what to say?
If you’re unsure what to say, keep your sympathy note simple and sincere. A brief message expressing your sorrow for their loss and letting them know you’re thinking of them is more than enough. You don’t need the perfect words, your effort and compassion matter most.
How long should a sympathy or condolence message be?
A sympathy message does not need to be long. In most cases, a short and heartfelt note is best. Grieving individuals often appreciate clear, thoughtful messages that offer comfort without overwhelming them.
Is it okay to send a sympathy note weeks or months after a loss?
Yes. It is always appropriate to send a sympathy note, even weeks or months after a loss. Many families continue to grieve long after the funeral, and receiving a thoughtful message later can be especially meaningful.
